I had an affair that not many people know about. It wasn’t with another man, but I snuck around and hid it like someone would who was cheating. I wasn’t cheating on my husband….I was cheating on me.
For most of my life I have been addicted to fast food. I recognized at a young age how bad it was, but I couldn’t quit it. Instead, I started sneaking around. I would throw the McDonald’s bags out the window so no one would see that I ate a burger and fries. I would lie, hide the bags, and find ways to pay for it without it showing up in a bank statement. Sometimes when I was working in television, before kids, I went to McD’s for breakfast AND dinner. Well, I was mortified when the drive through worker said, “hey, you were here this morning.” My face went red with shame.
It didn’t stop me though. I would think about drive throughs and food constantly. Especially when I was stressed. It would be a game, like, where haven’t I been in a while? Do I feel like a burger today, or hey, I how about Taco Bell?” “Ooh, maybe I can do the fries at this shop, then grab a burger at this restuarant!” Then promptly drive through, park and inhale it in an area where no one could see me.
Except I could see me and I didn’t like what I saw.
This horrible cycle lead me to a 40 pound weight gain. I was busting out of size 12, but refusing to buy a size 14. I was tired, irritable and just felt terrible. This wasn’t me being the best version of myself, but I was at a loss. Then Christina walked into our lives.
Since we started working with Christina she’s done a lot of work To change our mindset, not just our bodies. She used to say, “nothing tastes as good as fit feels,” and it wasn’t until recently that I understood what she meant.
It’s taken close to a year, but I am down about 20 pounds and I’m fitting into size 6! I haven’t been in a size 6 since my wedding in 2005. When you realize how that feels, you agree with Christina. Whoppers don’t taste as good as fitting into smaller pants feels. On the scale, I weigh more than I thought I would at this size, but that’s because I have muscle. MUSCLE!!! That feels awesome.
I’m still battling the fast food demons. I haven’t done this in a while, but sometimes I would eat it and not tell Christina! Lying about it!! Oh, it hurts my pride to even write that. But here’s what I’m learning about a fast food addiction: like any addiction, if you want to overcome it you have to be on offence. Always.
In the past year I have grown so much as a person and as I continue to work hard in my workouts and my diet as well as mindset. I’m seeing these results ten fold and every week there are changes in my body. I’m ready make more changes, crush my goals and get a leg up on the addiction I’ve been so ashamed of for so long.
Here’s what is working for me, in hopes it will help you:
Drink Half your body weight in water. For me, this is three 24oz bottles every day.
Take it day by day. If you have a cookie or fries, shrug it off and look toward tomorrow. I don’t do cheat days anymore. I choose to look at my diet one day at a time. I get overwhelmed easily and I find just making a daily promise to do good by me actually helps.
Schedule the workouts. Don’t break promises you made to yourself. If it’s in your calendar you will instinctively plan around that appointment. Also, LOVE yourself enough to make this the one appointment you keep for YOU each day.
Own it. Write down everything you ate on a food tracker, and don’t lie about it. Oh, I was so guilty of this. When you see it in black and white choose to learn from it, that will do you better than feeling badly about it. Sarah and I talk to each other a lot when we’re feeling like eating some guilty treats. She’s great at offering me some other options when I’m having some cravings or I’m just not inspired to cook.
Lean on your friend. Keep each other accountable. That’s what Sarah and Christina do for me. I’m competitive, so if Sarah says she got her workout in, I’m doing it too because I can’t be left behind.
Keep snacks with you at all times. You won’t drive through anywhere if you have apples in your purse. This keeps me on track, plus I’m finding I’m craving this now.
Start your day with a smoothie and jam pack it with all the goodies you need so that if you only have time for a protein bar for lunch, at least you had a ton of greens to start your day. Mine always has spinach, amazing greens powder, cashew milk, berries, protein powder and hemp hearts. If I miss my smoothie in the morning I’m guaranteed to make poor choices later.
Meal prep. This. Saves. My. Life. I need Sundays to get a jump start on our crazy weeks. I even plan our dinners! You don’t have cut and chop, but just have a solid plan for meals.
Stop comparing yourself to others. I’m 5’0” with an hourglass figure and a large chest. These are things I can’t change about myself and I was given this body on purpose! I’m never going to look like anyone else.
I’m still battling the fast food demons. They’ll always be there whispering to me that I want fries. And sometimes I give in, but if I plan and if I really look at how I’m feeling, I’m less likely to believe those voices and stick to what’s good for me.
And as for the weight loss, I’m almost there! I feel so amazing right now and I can’t wait to get to my goal.