Ever fail at something really badly? I’ve failed. A lot. Trust me! At the time those failures felt like they would forever define me. Now, I understand that they MADE me who I am today.
I’m going to share some things that may change the way you look at me. But understand, these massive things that happened, didn’t happen TO me, they happened FOR me, to make sure I was on the right path, or to give me the ammo to do it better next time. It’s hard to admit these things, but I’m laying it all out there.
I failed at my career
Here’s a confession I’ve been holding onto for a long time. I have been fired from not one, but TWO jobs. Yep, fired. Imagine the emotions of getting called to HR the first time, and then double it.
At the time I thought they were my dream jobs because they offered great pay and pension. But if I’m truthful, I was bored. I didn’t gel well with the quiet office environment. I need big, loud, creative places that are fun to work in. Offices are not me. Because of that, and other reasons, I was let go from these jobs. I’m also awful at playing office politics and crave collaboration. These jobs didn’t offer that. But I still held on. Until I called called to the office.
The first time I was depressed. I was lost and heartbroken. Mostly though, I was angry. Pissed off and blamed everyone else for what happened.
The second time I was thankful. I knew it was the wrong fit, and developed a major case of anxiety that left me sleepless, panicked and pretty thin from not eating. But again, I chose to hold on instead of leaving. Thankfully they cut me loose.
You know what? I thank God every day that they did. The second time I wasn’t angry. I let it go and focused on what made me happy. Once I did that, everything changed for me.
If I hadn’t failed and been fired twice I would still be miserable. I was miserable in those two jobs because I knew deep down that they were not the right fit for me, but I was too scared to walk away from the big paycheck and go chase down my actual dreams. Those dreams that fill my cup!
I failed at being a friend
When times got tough I retreated into my own world. Hunkered down and thought only of myself. I pushed people away when I should have been asking them to be a part of my life.
Through that I learned that your best friends, the ones at the core of your world, are the ones you need to cherish. When the going gets tough these are the people who want to help you lift the world high above your shoulders.
I also chose other friends over those who have my back. I’ve been doing this since elementary school, and it took til now to stop that cycle.
I like to tell my best girls that I know they are the ones I need in my life because if I was selling lemonade outside my home as a job, they’d be there every day sipping it because they care about me and my happiness. And I’d do the same for them.
You have to fail at relationships to know how to have one. I adore my friends and thank them for hanging in there for me.
I failed at being a family member
Family drama…we all have it. I do the retreat thing again when a family member is critical of me, when I should just remember that they are telling me things because they care about me more than anyone!
I recognize that I sometimes don’t make my extended family a priority, but I’m working on this. Life as a mom and business owner is busy, but I remind myself every day that I need to do reach out every day to someone in my family. They watched me grow, they love my family and just want to know that we think of them occasionally.
I’m still working on it.
I failed at being a wife
I have been happily married for 13 years now, and we know we’re in it for the long haul. But I wasn’t a good wife for a long time.
Pushing your husband away because you don’t feel good about yourself is punishing your loved one. You heard me. It’s not his fault that you’re not loving yourself right now. The quickest way to find your sense of self worth is to see yourself through the eyes of those who love you the most.
I’m scarred up from having a child. My body isn’t the same as it was when we started dating in our early 20’s and he doesn’t care. He tells me all the time that he thinks I’m beautiful. How did I repay that? I turned him down daily.
I wouldn’t meet him even half way by watching a tv show with him. I wanted “me” time, which was me watching tv on a different floor!
Ladies, I’m telling you, turn off Netflix and connect with your hubby. I learned that I was failing US by not wanting to connect with him physically and emotionally. I’m so happy that I changed.
In fact, he’s now excited for our weekly date nights!
I failed my health
I haven’t been this size in about a decade (except when I was losing my job for the second time). I was focused on everything outside of me. I focused on work, home, kid, etc. But never me. You feel me?
I would be great on a diet for a while and at the first chance I’d throw it away and revert to old ways. This was a cycle for years and years.
This summer I did the same thing. I didn’t fail on my diet. I failed me. I was on a roll and then let it go and you know what? I felt like crap. I lacked energy, I didn’t feel as vibrant as I did a month earlier. I was irritable. I needed supplements again to get through the day.
I’m glad I failed. I’m glad I know how it feels so I can remember never to do that again. I’ve been back on track for a few weeks and it’s easier now. Thank God!
There’s going to be a lot more failures as I continue on my path, but I’m looking at it so differently now. I know I can get through it and when I get to the other side, I’m going to be strong, better and smarter! Failing is putting me on the path I’m supposed to be on!
Have you had a failure that turned out to be the best lesson?