How I’m Giving Myself a Break to Find More Happiness in My Life.

Last year I wrote about my fast food addiction. I was bracing myself for the judgement, but instead I received dozens of DMs and comments from some of you. All with the same message: Me Too.

I harboured that secret for so long, and yet, so many of you were too.

I’m still struggling with it, but writing that post took a load off my shoulders. I didn’t have to hide anymore. The sneaking around wasn’t necessary anymore, therefore the intrigue was gone too.

It gave me a chance to give myself a break, and it started a ripple effect.

I am giving myself a break on a lot of things right now. Big things. Things I have been conditioned to believe for decades.

I hope it inspires you to give yourself a break.

My Size

Something clicked recently that not everything is going to fit me the way it fits other people. I would normally force myself into those styles of clothes or do whatever it took to fit in the size I thought I needed. Think uncomfortable muffin tops!

I don’t do that anymore. Sizing is all over the place, so I wear whatever size fits.

Guess what? No one knows what size I’m wearing. So, it doesn’t matter if it’s a medium or a large, if it feels good on me, that’s what matters.

My body type is different from all the other women around me. I’m short and curvy. Things are going to look different on me. Instead of yelling at my body for not being how I think it should be, I’m giving it a break and appreciating it for what it is.

It carried a baby. It can move. It can run with the dog in the woods. It’s mine.

I wouldn’t treat anyone else the way I’ve treated myself. And that was a big realization.

Working Out

I also have found joy in movement. I workout every day. Sometimes it’s a hard workout like what we do with Christina, sometimes it’s a run, or other times it’s a longer hike with the dog.

Instead of looking at fitness as a punishment, I look forward to it. When you mentally make yourself dislike your workouts, you’re not going to want to do it.

Finding something fun has been the key. Once I had fun, I started craving more challenging workouts. That change in mindset has been a game changer.

Comparison

I used to compare myself to everyone. It made me angry that I couldn’t look like someone else. Sometimes I’d get so angry trying something on in a store because it didn’t look the same way on me. Admittedly, I was in a panic to get something off because I was so mad, I actually ripped it a bit.

I compared myself to friends and to people on the internet. Oh, the models on the internet. Beautiful women that don’t look like me at all.

But the biggest comparison was the image I had in my head of myself. This idea that I was a certain way, but in reality, it wasn’t that way.

In fact, I’m better. The curves serve me well. Being on the shorter side, well, that’s something I can’t really help, so why be bitter about it? Really, why be bitter about anything you can’t control? We are all made this way on purpose.

I stopped worrying about what other people looked like or what they were doing. I focused on my own journey. How I feel, how far I have come and how far I’ll go.

It’s been amazing to give myself a break in this area and go at my own pace, instead of trying to keep up with everyone else.

Perfection

This is where I’m really working on myself. For years I had some anxiety over not doing something correctly, or getting criticized, and I would have a panic attack.

One phrase has really helped me in this area:  does this affect my life? In the grand scheme of things.

When you analyze each issue with that lens, it’s easier to filter out the crap that you don’t need messing with your psyche. Proud to say, I haven’t had a panic attack in a long time.

The thing is, we get so caught up in what society wants or what we think we need that it has caused so much anxiety in so many of us.

Take this photo below. I would usually tear apart everything in it. Not anymore. I look happy. I am confident. I for one, love that feeling. Sure, I don’t have a six pack, but that doesn’t mean I’m less of a person.

Over the past year while I have been focusing on my health, It’s about just that: health.

How I feel far outweighs anything else in my life. The fast food makes me feel ill. The skipped workouts make me lethargic. Beating myself up for not being a certain isn’t working for me.

It was all of those DMs, one year ago, I realized that I wasn’t the only one struggling.

We are our own harshest critic. We’ve been doing this to ourselves for decades and personally, I’m over it.

As women, we all need to be kinder to ourselves. We are kind to everyone else, but for so long we have been so crazy mean to the people who matter the most: Us.

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